An excerpt from “Split Definitions and Relationships” by Ra Uru Hu

The split definition can teach others how to be in a partnership because they know what's missing. They know what it means to have someone make an enormous difference in their lives, and I'm not just talking about a lover, I’m talking about any kind of relationship.

It is the split definition that has this potential to really make a partnership work. You cannot expect a single definition, a triple split, and particularly a quad to be able to make a relationship work. They’re generally the problem in the relationship, because they’re not designed for it, they don't know what it means to find wholeness through the other.

If you’re a split definition and you enter into a relationship in the right way, it will give you a sense of wholeness. That sense of wholeness gets translated as a particular quality of that relationship. You immediately understand the benefit you're deriving from that connection, how valuable it is. But if you're a single definition and you enter into a relationship, it isn't giving you any sense of wholeness. It’s the “I don't need anybody” design.

Split Definitions need to be Wise in the Way They Bond

We can be so blind and ignorant in the way in which we come together. We are driven by these mechanisms within us and if our mind takes over in making those decisions, we suffer terribly. The reality is that for all those who are not designed to be wise in the way of relationships, we are dependent on split definitions to show us the way, because otherwise we don't quite figure it out.

Yet at the same time, you can see that it takes a great deal of awareness to come to grips with your design as a split. It takes real awareness to get past the conditioning traps of the bridges, to see that this is what you're here to master and teach in the way of relating.

Ra Uru Hu was the Human Design System’s founder and messenger. Ra dedicated 25 years of his life to the development and teaching of the System around the world until he passed away in 2011.