I think often there's a great deal of confusion about what I mean when I ask people, in a sense remind them, to love themselves. Self-love is really an incredible thing; I think it is one of the rarest things that we have on the planet.
I'm not talking about vanity. It's not about the self-love where you pat yourself on the back because you have accomplished something and you think you’re terrific. It has nothing to do with that, with puffery or egotism.
All bioforms are fundamentally insecure. It's the nature of being a bioform, and why we have an immune system and built-in fear mechanisms within us. Out of those fears, depending on the way we deal with the world around us, arise all kinds of insecurities.
Just look at the way we’re raised, it’s the first thing to understand about how far away we are from ourselves. We’re not raised according to our nature, we’re not nourished according to our design, we’re not given the opportunities to develop in a way that is correct for us. We’re conditioned from the moment that we enter into the world.
You see children standing in front of the mirror in the morning before school, the institution that is going to continue the conditioning, and they're looking for something that isn’t there, something that's not them. All they want to be is like somebody else or better than somebody else. Or they’ve already been conditioned by their families that they're not good enough for this or that. Why can't they be like this or that, and so on.
From a very early age, human beings don't really think very much of themselves.
I remember what it was like when I started my career as an analyst. I did a lot of traveling during that era and met people from all different walks of life, from different cultures around the world, and they all suffered from the same malaise. They all suffered from the same pain, this lack of respect for themselves.
It’s so interesting when you think about how diabolical the awakening process is that you have to be so unhappy with yourself and your life to have a chance to even break out of that. Doesn't say much for the nature of the human process, does it?
Self-love is a rare thing because it’s rooted in your own Authority. This is what happens to us in terms of conditioning, because from the moment we come into the world we lose our authority. We are trained early on to give up our authority to parents or teachers, or any other authority figure! Once we’re adults we give up authority to partners, friends, governments, gods… You name it.
We give up authority to everything; it's fundamental to our way of living because everything about the homogenized world is rooted in control. The only way to keep our society civil, so to speak, is control. And having authority over the population is the only way the control mechanism works, so we’re all trained from a very early age to give up our authority.
Yet the moment you give up your authority, it is in the hands of others, and you're never complete. You can never trust in yourself and then you end up in a life in which your not-self mind, rooted in your openness and conditioning, is making decisions for you—taking you further and further away from who you are.
You see, Human Design offers a Strategy and an Authority, an Inner Authority. Not a made-up one, not a philosophical one, but an authority that is part of your biological mechanism. It's your wiring, and it doesn't require your mind. It's an authority that allows you to operate correctly as your self, it allows you to navigate on this plane correctly as you. This is what authority is all about.
And the moment you begin to experiment with your authority you discover something quite remarkable: That you're okay. Not only are you okay but you can navigate your life. It’s the first thing you discover “Oh gee, look at that. I can deal with this, I can handle it...”
Life suddenly becomes something that is much easier to deal with, and for the first time, you begin to experience the potential inherent in you. When you are your own authority, this is when self-love begins. It begins with trust—not trust in somebody else's authority, but trust in your authority.
Then you begin to see that you're perfectly equipped to live your life. A life that is unique, differentiated, and special. It deserves your love. That’s when you find security, the security blanket that you can really hold onto that doesn't come from anyone else.
That is the moment you can feel that love, self-love. Such a beautiful thing. To love yourself is to open up love for everyone and everything that is part of your life. It's no longer rooted in your dependencies, your inferiorities, your inadequacies. To be correct is to appreciate your own magic, your own beauty. So I continue to remind you, love yourself.
Ra Uru Hu was the Human Design System’s founder and messenger. Ra dedicated 25 years of his life to the development and teaching of the System around the world until he passed away in 2011.
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